Giving ~ Day 3

"I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be. Martha said to me, very quietly: There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.
The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.”

Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille

Don't you love it when positive, life-affirming thoughts appear on your Facebook feed? Yesterday morning this quote was among the first to appear to me...and I have to say that it both stirred me and stuck with me through the day. {Thanks, Sean}

I confess that, in this era of self-promotion, I tend to be an if-you-build-it-they-will-come kinda gal. The notion of openness ~ of tuning out the noise and tuning into my inner voice ~ resonates deeply. things get confusing from there ... Because when I put myself 'out there' the insecurities take over. I begin to ask if anything that I say or do or write or create is needed in the vast, roaring ocean of ALL that is available from ALL over the world and ALL sorts of people ... when that question, the question of my worth or value, becomes louder than the urges, the notions, the beautiful ideas that motivate me ... when that bully that calls herself "comparison" taunts me in the schoolyard ... well, then I retreat. I sit back. I hold back. And I atrophy just a tiny bit. 

Yesterday's walk in the woods reminded me, yet again, of that often quoted notion that leaves grow old so beautifully. Their aging is so full of light and color! The older I get, the more I'm inspire by this vision of aging! And, though the leaves create a glorious scene when dancing together, it is ~ perhaps ~ each unique, individual leaf that most captures my attention. 

So, I will blog and write and post and photograph and open my home and craft ~ because this is how my energy most fully expresses itself. I will keep myself open...and I might even try to believe in myself.



From this morning's journal:

Give Away: Today I listen for the word "should" ~ and with each should I give away the notion of obligation and take a moment to question myself. Is there a way to turn the "should" into a choice, the "must dos" into opportunities? Some shoulds might be able to be discarded ... I imagine most are simply calling for a mind change. A perspective change. Today I give away the thought that anything in my life is a "have to."

Give Access: Today I give myself access to rest. Early to bed. My body told me first thing this morning that it was craving more rest. I will listen.

Give Thanks: Today I am grateful for healing. Emotional and physical healing. I'm grateful for the caregivers ~ for those who inspire physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual growth. I am grateful for healing.

Joining Tamar and Kat

one of my new favorite things...

I love snail mail.

Don't you?!

This summer I discovered an app that I absolutely ADORE!!

It's called "Ink Cards"

and to test it out I sent a few to myself!

Paper quality? OUTSTANDING!

Photo quality? EXCELLENT!

Embossed envelope? SO FUN!

These can be sent as a postcard, or you can "upgrade" to an envelope.

Total for card, envelope and mailing you ask? 

$4.98

Again - let me just say - OUTSTANDING quality!

In this shot you can see the texture of the card stock used.

And there's lots of space for you to compose a personal message.

Hope you enjoy this app ~ I know I sure have!!

{this is NOT a sponsored post...just me, sharing my discovery with you!}

Joining Tamar and Kat

Those Darn Cookies

Cookies have never made me cry.

Oh, I've cried many rivers of tears over food and dieting and, well, food. But never specifically over cookies. When I have cravings, they're more along the lines of pizza/chips/cheese/bread. You know, the salty cravings. But cookies? Never shed a tear for them.

Yesterday I was in the grocery store. I wasn't in a hurry ~ just enjoying some time thinking about fixing my son some of his favorites and putting together a goodie bag for him as he moved into his new apartment. He's got a great new roommate and a new place in Boston, and I'm so happy for him! It's been a long time coming. He's endured the post-collegiate-have-to-live-at-home-if-I'm-gonna-pay-back-my-student-loan phase very well. And he's handled it all so responsibly. He's earned this freedom! Literally.

So, there I was in the grocery store, filling my cart, trying to remember all the ingredients I'd need for his beloved mac-n-cheese and his adored shepherd's pie. And I thought, "Oh, I know! I should also find his favorite cookies to send with him. That would make him happy!" Off I went to the cookie aisle. Sure enough, there they were. His mint chocolate Milanos. As I reached out to grab them and put them in my cart, I got all choked up. Seriously choked up. Then the tears started flowing. Right there in the cookie aisle. In the middle of Market Basket, the memories came flooding back. All the grocery trips that we've taken together...from little guy riding in the carriage, to young man keeping me company.....uh-oh, hear come those darn tears again!

I'm telling you - this motherhood thing never ceases to surprise me. And fill me. And empty me completely! It's a wonder how we manage to feel exuberantly happy, profoundly proud, achingly nostalgic and just plain sad all in the same moment. But if you're a mom, I know you know exactly what I'm talking about! I just hope, for your sake, that it doesn't all catch up with you in the middle of Market Basket.

Cause as of yesterday afternoon, I can no longer say that cookies have never made me cry.

Joining Mama Kat Writer's Workshop and Little Things Thursday

Finders Keepers

Finding old photo albums is like discovering a gateway to the past.

This tattered, mildewed and decaying old wedding album was begging to be cherished.

The photos it held were suffering,

as the album was no longer fit to house the treasured memories.

Over the weekend, I took apart the old book

and gently separated the photos from the paper they were glued on to.

Inspired by the elegant shots,

I came up with a simple plan to showcase the bride and groom

in a fresh, new album ~ simple mounting, delicate accents.

Let the photos tell the tale.

I hope William and Dorothea are happy in their new dwelling place.

It's good to know that they are safe here...

preserved in a way that will endure.

No more yellowing.

No more tatters or decay.

No more fading away.

No, they now become a lasting treasure

just waiting to hear the gleeful cries of their great children

{or their great greats}

as they exclaim,

"Oh my! Look what I've found!"

Joining

Little Things Thursday

and

Mama Kat's

Red Sox Reflection

Red Sox fans are everywhere.

This summer I ran into one on a lakeside trail in Oregon!

I spotted the cap,

and then noticed that the guy in the cap was trying to take a selfie.

{a boyfriend/girlfriend selfie}

So, of course, I offered to take a pic or two for them.

We got to chatting

{please don't tattle on me.

I'm not sure the rest of my family likes it that I chat with nature-trail strangers}

He's a sox fan cause he grew up with Jacoby Elsbury.

He's planning a trip to Boston.

Said there were three things he wants to see:

Fenway Park

The brick line on the sidewalk

{otherwise known as the Freedom Trail}

and

The Oldest Sports Bar in the Country.

Well, that last tourist destination made me laugh!

My son is one of the managers at that "historic" land mark.

A bar, otherwise known as McGreevy's,

that dates way way back.

As many things in Bean-town do.

So I pointed across the lake,

told that guy that the kid fishing on the other side was one of the bar managers

and gave him my son's name.

Who knows, maybe someday he'll really drop in!

I then, of course, asked him if he could stand really still.

Cause on top of his sox hat

there sat a great pair of camo-reflective sunglasses.

And I could see the sky and the great Oregon pines.

And I wanted a pic.

Don't tell anyone about that either.

My poor family would be so embarrassed!

Linking to

Mama Kat's, Little Things and Weekend Reflections

Now

"Life is all memory,

except for the one present moment

that goes by you so quickly

you hardly catch it going."

Tennessee Williams


The present moment.
Saying "yes" to the present moment
and surrendering to the now.
We hear it.
We think it makes such good sense.
I know I do.
Not dwelling on or in the past.
Not agonizing over the future.
Nope.
None of that.
Just living fully in the present.
I don't know about you,
but this concept,
like so many that we believe to be fundamental - 
reasonable, good for us, life affirming -
are so much easier to understand than to actually
put
into
practice!

If there's anything that a hummingbird can teach us -
and there are probably lots of things -
it is that notion that something is fleeting.
Something is flying by you so quickly
you hardly catch it going!
It seems very poignant to me when a hummer
settles on a branch in the midst of its busy buzzing about.
And, perhaps, even more so when it seems to pause -
to hover -
in mid flight.

This small,several second,
point of stillness seems to perfectly illustrate
that elusive notion of
'the present moment'

My little Oregon hummer seemed to be showing me,
as one day closed and the next was not yet known to us,
exactly what
NOW
looked like.
And felt like.

I'm oh so glad he paused like this,
just for me...
as if he had plenty of both wisdom and presence to share.




Joining Kat and Tamar

Six {vacation} Favorites

Our trip to Central Oregon this year was, as always, delight-full.

Not only was there family

and fun and lots of R & R...

but there was plenty of time for me to play with my camera!

Here are my favorite "critter" pics from our vacation.

1. The House Cats.

OJ and Buddy have recently "earned" the privilege of being let outside during the day.

It was fun to get to photograph them as they ventured out...

off the deck and through the weeds.

2. The Doves

We were serenaded throughout the trip by the cooing doves.

It was the first sound I registered every morning.

In the side yard,

where they are treated to lots of food,

I enjoyed watching the light catch the white in their feathers as they flew from place to place.

3. The Deer.

These guys probably deserve a post all their own.

Every morning and evening four or five deer wander into the yard and find food 

that's been set out for them.

They are beautiful creatures!!

This year I loved that little OJ the cat wasn't spooked by them - 

not at all!

He often wandered right up to them during their visits!

4.  The Hummingbirds

Always an obsession of mine while I'm at my in-laws.

This little guy "posed" for me a ton.

In reality, he found a good "lookout post" atop a juniper tree.

He'd come and set a spell...until he saw other hummers head for the feeders,

then he'd go and chase them off.

He was kind of a little brat.

But pretty cute none-the-less!

5. This Dragonfly

This is an iPhone moment.

On our first trip to our favorite lake ~ home to most all of my favorite dragonfly pics ~

this guy greeted me. Welcomed me!

He just sat there as my macro iPhone lens moved in towards him.

I couldn't believe it!!

Such a poser!

6. Some "human" Critters

We were treated to many beautiful sunsets during our two week stay.

One night the sky was particularly dramatic ~

there was a storm out over the valley, but we could see the clearing coming through at the same time.

We sat for several hours...

chatting,

watching the sky and the lightening...

and doing what human critters do so well...

recording the sight on whatever device we had with us!

Stay tuned...

many more vacation pics to come!

Joining Kim and Kat and Eileen

Town History

Nestled next to the original town hall in Salem NH is an old graveyard. 

Most of the headstones date back to the mid 19th century, 

not a bit unusual for a New England cemetery. 

I stopped by for a short wander yesterday afternoon.

It was a beautiful day,

and I was happy for an excuse to delay my trip to the grocery store.

Centuries collided as I caught sight of my shadowy self,

armed with my ever present iPhone,

on the side of an almost 200 year old tomb stone.

The irony...

I think this is my favorite shot from my short walk.

The vibrant, green sprig of new life

caught the light

(and my eye)

against the backdrop of this fallen head stone.

I couldn't help but be struck by thoughts of the cycle of life.

How many snowy winters and leafy springs have come and gone

since this dear Anna passed?

Hundreds.

With many more to come...

There were life stories carved into a hand full of stones...

...but most just carried a name and a date and, perhaps, the mention of a relationship.

As I was heading to my car,

the gentle simplicity of this stone caught my eye

and tugged at my heart.

I do love a good wander through an old grave yard.

Just as I love a good treasure hunt.

You see, as I wandered yesterday,

I was searching for the letter K.

Why, you ask?

Well...this year I've participated in a project 365 group on Instagram.

And yesterday's prompt was "K" ~ which was harder to find than I'd imagined.

Just as I was about to give up,

at the far end of this peaceful, reverent old place,

I found the Kelly family.

Once again, the centuries collided...

...and I got to share just a bit more about my new home town

with my little Instagram world.

Joining Kim and Kat

Backyard Beauty

And to add to the whole we-own-a-house excitement,

said house has a flowering tree in the back yard.

Color me delighted!

The pink blooms have lured some sweet song birds to visit our humble abode...

and many enjoy hanging around with us!

Yesterday a dear friend brought me a bird feeder as a house warming gift!!

Watch out little birdies, you're about to get spoiled!

Joining Kim and Kat

Each New Day

~morning has broken ~

easily one of my favorite songs of all time

the promise of a new day

the joy of a sunlit morning

the call to take note

to pause and

pay attention

this morning

as soon as the sun's light shone through the trees

the entire back yard sparkled

the air was crisp

the grass, covered with frost and

sprinkled with countless dewy drops,

caught the light

and put on quite a show for me

so i left the comfort of the family room

ventured forth into the morning

knelt in dew soaked grass

and

praised

THIS

recreation of the new day

Joining Kim and Kat today

Where, O Where Art Thou Dear Spring?

While I do enjoy a moody, foggy day...

and I LOVE a still, glassy pond that catches crisp reflections....

the folks 'round here are wondering when Spring is going to start to strut her stuff!!?!

Sharing with

Kim for Little Things Thursday,

Kat for her Writer's Workshop

and James for Weekend Reflections

Reflections on Time

I wish I could turn back time...
         to that day when two twenty-somethings built this R2D2 like they were kids again
         to that day I got a hug and a Christmas cactus from a dear friend
         to that time I washed these curtains because special guests were coming to stay
         to that day my daughter and I were making the table runners for her reception...the one that now covers the bookshelf
         or to that day I hammered a huge nail into the wall because the bookcase leaned to the left

Or...maybe just slow down time...
         So many little tiny memories!
         Every where I look, as we pack these never-ending boxes, I'm reminded.
         And filled with gratitude.
         I'm taking mental pictures {and iPhone pictures} of the little things ~
             those small scenes that, added all together, made this house our home.
         I don't want to rush the packing.
         I don't want to miss anything.

Or....maybe I really wish I could speed up time...
         to that day, in our new home, where everything will have a new spot
         to that day when the packing AND the unpacking will be completed

Silly really.
Cause we all know, time is what it is.
And that it will march on, no matter how much we indulge in wishful thinking.

Joining

Little Things Thursday

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

and

Weekend Reflections

       

Restless Reflections

You know my to-do list is full,

and that life wants to push and to pull,

when all that I've got

to share in this spot

are mall scenes that made me see double.

Linking to:

Little Things Thursday

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

and

Weekend Reflections

New-itis?

When I was a young teen, my mom used to tease me about having a disease known {only to her} as new-itis. She'd laugh at how fast I had to wear or use anything that I bought. If it was new clothes, I'd surely wear the outfit the very first chance I'd get. If it was a new record {yes, you read that right} I'd play it over and over and over from the minute I brought it home. For some reason this amused her greatly!

These days I'm all about old stuff. About gently used clothes. About memorabilia, photos and objects that carry meaning ~ that have sentimental value. About re-purposing and sharing and creatively gifting things that are precious to me. Even as we get ready to move, I'm excited because all my 'same-old' furniture will take on a new life as it finds a new home! And though we might choose to replace a few things, I'm guessing that, for the most part, we'll continue to enjoy our old favorites. And that's just fine by me.

It's a great time of the year to be sorting through, trimming down and packing up. If all goes as planned, we will be moving just as spring begins to strut her stuff. And as much as I might enjoy things that are older, I have to say there's nothing like the feeling of starting fresh.

Be it a new day, a new season. a new path ... or a new home ... Each opportunity to begin, to renew, to refresh fills my "old" heart with wonder-full new JOY!!

Joining Kim for

Little things Thursday

and Kat for her

Writer's Workshop

Valentine Wishes

Dear Hubby ~
You are my valentine...today, tomorrow...for always. I love our adventures. The big, life altering exploits and the small day to day experiences. Here's to many, many more years of Valentine celebrations together! Love, me.

Dear iPhone Camera ~
I love you so. You're always there with me...faithfully answering those last second calls for a quick snapshot. Mostly, I love you because you don't annoy my husband like that big camera. He doesn't mind posing for you. And that's a small miracle!! Much obliged, Photo Addict

Dear Random Stranger Who Took Our Pic ~
I spotted you when we both stopped to take a photo of the same thing. Our spouses had no idea what we were taking a photo of...but we knew. Hope yours turned out well ~ and hope you find willing strangers who will help you when you want to be in the shot! Happy Valentines from a kindred {photo} spirit

Dear Rusty ol' Bike Rider ~
I wish you many bliss filled rides about town. I hope your beloved bike survives the Boston winter! I'm glad you left her out, chained to the tree, because this was a photo-op that my kindred {photo} spirit and I couldn't resist! She might like to be taken for a spin for Valentines Day! Stay Warm, Your Secret Admirer

Dear Reflection in the Window ~
I just can't resist you. You and your whole, huge, interesting family! I've never met a reflection that I don't adore! You've given me hours of photographic joy - and I will never, ever forget you or stop taking your pictures! Much love, Your Number One Fan

Dear Newbury Street ~
Thanks for being a little piece of around-the-world goodness right in the heart of Boston. You are a never ending feast for the eyes, the stomach and the imagination. If only my pocket book was bigger, I would visit you more often. Sigh. Until the next time...Your wanna-be bestie...

Dear Snow Covered Branches ~
I love you. You captivate me. Mesmerize me. You are the absolute best thing about any snow storm. You deserve all the love this Valentines day! Thanks for filling my eyes {and photos} with delight! Love, A Winter Wonderland Dweller

Dear Boston ~
O, how I adore you! I love all your old brick. I adore your fancy wrought iron fences, and gates. I'll never tire of gazing into your windows, walking along your history-filled streets and calling you home. I am Your forever Valentine!

Sharing some of my Valentine Wishes with Theresa, Kim and Kat

Still

the young man
sheepishly gave me a delicate bracelet
a tender kiss
and a valentine

he put pen to paper
and asked
he quoted shakespeare
and asked
me to be his valentine ... his girl

the very next year
that very same young man
boldly got down on a knee
and gave me a diamond
a tender kiss
and a valentine

he put pen to paper
and asked
he poured out his heart
and asked
me to be his valentine ... for life

and for life it has been
all the seasons
the seasons of plenty, the seasons of want
through vibrant, healthy and whole
to dull, weak and broken
and back again
through all of the seasons

and i know only one thing
that after all these years
full of all these seasons
i know that
my handsome 'young' man
will
yet again
put pen to paper
or
offer me a yellow rose
or
tenderly kiss me good night
and
ask me to be his valentine

still
again
always
without hesitation
my answer will be
yes

Joining Kim and Kat

Icy Reflections

Sometimes the simplest things take my breath away.
Take some frozen water.
Add a bit more water that's oh-so-frosty-but-not-quite-frozen.
Toss in a fallen branch.
Mix all this with a sunshiny, blue sky kinda day
and the result is beautiful.
Magical.




Linking to:
Little Things Thursday
Writer's Workshop
and
Weekend Reflections

a reflection on reflections....

Just the other day, while doing a mundane errand, I caught sight of this in my side mirror.

I was glad to be at a stop light so I could snap a quick photo. Golden light, bare branches - captured. Preserved.

As I looked at this photo, it helped me to understand my love of mirrors. Of glass windows. Of puddles and ponds...of anything that yields a reflection. I love the idea that what is behind is brought right in front of us. That what is up above now rests below our feet. That what we see changes as we move, as we change the angle from which we observe it. I don't know. Something about each reflection gives me the sense that I'm hemmed in - caught. That I'm right in the center of it all. That what's behind or before me, what's above me or below is all very fluid. And that my perception of the "now" need not be defined by just one angle. Or one influence or direction. 

I guess you could say that studying a reflection opens the door to new possibilities. 

And I don't know about you, but as I fight to keep my heart open and my attitude positive, 

I often need a reminder that there are many such doors to open in life.

I'll share again my quote from Wednesday ~ because I wholeheartedly agree with Monsieur Chabrol:

"I love mirrors.

They let one pass through the surface of things."

Joining Kim  and Kat and James