Showing posts with label empty nest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empty nest. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Black and White Wednesday ~ More


This mothering thing, as we all know, is all sorts of hard. And all kinds of wonderful. I've been a mom for 26 years. I've loved being a mom for 26 years. It's the piece of me that I know the best. That I feel I've lived the best. Oh sure...not perfectly. But wholly. Happily.

I was pretty sure, as my kids were finishing high school that I was doing a great job at the letting go part of mothering. I thought...hmmm...this isn't so bad. My daughter lived away from home for a few years. Then she got married. My son lived at home on and off through college. Now he's finished with that, and working sixty-plus hours a week. Point is...they're both really on their own now. And my husband and I have settled pretty easily into this stage of our lives.

Well, maybe that's not the point. Or, not today's point. Today These past few days I have been stunned by how acutely I'm feeling the loss. Not the loss of my kids...exactly. I mean, the boy kid still technically lives here - though I rarely see him. And I talk to the girl every day. More than once. No, I think some of what I'm feeling is the loss of the role. A purposelessness. Like I'm looking to situate myself, and not quite finding a place.

I'm also feeling the loss of 'spiritual community' ...we all went to church together for many years, and it was a strong bond between us and a part of our lives. It's been a few years since you could call any of us regular church goers. And, while I think our reasons for this are understandable, it's hard to loose this connection ... both between us and with a spiritual community that we can love and trust.

So, in this 'letting go' season, I'm going to be breathing in the crisp air. Walking. Praying. Watching the colorful leaves float to the ground. Taking lots of pictures of all the leaves that are floating to the ground. Taking each day as it comes....aware that these feelings will pass. And blessings will come to fill the corners of a heart that's longing for...well, more.



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