The last time my husband and I went 'home' to Oregon, just the two of us, I was pregnant with my daughter.
That was Christmas, 1986.
There have been close to thirty trips since then....all of them as a family of three or four. Almost all of them in the summer. There were many years we traveled all the way from Europe...those were the days of TWA, hours in the St. Louis airport (I think I could still draw a floor plan of that place) and crazy car rides back over the mountain with Grandma and Grandpa. Our trips to Oregon have always been a dream come true for our kids and a great oasis of rest, love and care for me!
On Saturday night I cried a bit at the end of a movie. Not unusual for me....but it had been a while. I gathered myself with a trip to the ladies...and said good-bye to my daughter and her husband who had been hanging out with us for the evening. And then...oh my! When they left the flood gates just opened and the tears started to flow. Not shaking sobbing tears, just silent steady tears. When my husband asked what was wrong I said....I don't really know. I guess I just haven't cried in a while.
{You can imagine how much sense that made to him!!?!}
So I sat with my feelings and let the tears come....my heart was just aching a bit, I guess. Not aching over what is, but over what will never be the same again. And that's a very odd kind of ache. Because what is - well we're good. My husband and I are a happy pair of ol' ducks. And our kids are busy with their lives...as twenty-somethings should be! We will travel this week, see family...rest and enjoy beautiful Oregon. And the now, the what is, will be just as wonderful as it always is when we're there. But, I've got to be honest.... in spite of all this good, there will some pieces missing.
And the tacky post cards I send my kids will say, "Wish you were here."
Linking up with
and
Special thanks to Tracey @ Haiku Do You for her Antique Postcard texture
Hi Adrienne! I so get this post, as my daughter will be going off to college this fall for the first time, and well, you know, although my boy is getting better...things are just different and won't ever be quite the same. Trying to work out the new normals is tricky business. xo
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel.
ReplyDeleteHappy and unhappy simultaneously.
LOVE the processing and postcard texture you used.
You are a wonderful mother. It is only natural to feel the way you do. I KNOW I would feel the same, and cry steady tears as well.
ReplyDeleteYou are brave, but Oregon will hold new adventures for just the two of you! I just know it.
xo!
Come on out, the weather is SPLENDID!!
ReplyDeleteHugs.
ReplyDeleteOh Adrienne -- I understand totally. Sometimes I wonder where the time went and if I will be able to do all I want to do.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are enjoying a full life with your hubby so dry those tears! xo
Hi Adrienne--I read your comment on Terri's blog and being a resident Oregonian, I wanted to wish you a great trip here...
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I did come because this post was just what I needed to read today. I, said through tears right now, understand how you are feeling. For me, in a happy marriage too, there is a longing (nostalgia) for the days of old...a kind of aching of the soul. I think most moms (and perhaps dads too) feel this.
Anyway, thanks for putting my feelings into this beautiful post and--I truly wish you both a blessed, peaceful and happy time in beautiful Oregon with all of our lovely mountains!
Blessings,
Aimee
this is a GREAT entry adrienne, i must comment that i cry a lot less these days!!
ReplyDeletei realize those days are gone but these days are just as wonderful.
it's all about loving, then letting go. we are lucky girls to have such good relationships with our guys!!
Oh, I have to say it does sound heavenly to do something with just my husband, but I know the time will come some day when I will wonder where it all went. Have a great trip!
ReplyDeleteOh, oh, oh! Sisterhood! I know exactly...it isn't that now isn't wonderful, but so was the then. And the then is gone...or at least changed. Big hug to you!
ReplyDelete