I haven't cooked dinner in almost a week.
Did the dishes last night for the first time in a week.
Haven't been on a walk for a week.
Missed two and a half days of work.
Cancelled a long over due and much wanted dinner with a friend from my old neighborhood.
Cancelled a book club meeting.
Cancelled a scrapbooking workshop.
Couldn't make it to church to hear a dear friend speak.
I've been sick.
And that's my guilt list.
{part of it - I won't bore you with the whole thing}
Just getting sick makes me feel guilty - surely I could have slept more, washed my hands more,
eaten more anti-oxidants, been in better shape, avoided more children
or washed my hands even more.
Surely I could have avoided getting sick in the first place.
And then there's the letting down of the masses.
{can you hear the dramatic music?}
Even as I type this I feel ridiculous.
~~~~~
I stood at the edge of this snowy pond after work yesterday ~
Longing to be on a walk in the snow
but knowing that would be foolish.
I just stood there.
Breathing in the fresh air.
So still.
So quiet.
And I realized something.
There were no old tapes playing in my mind.
The voice of reason and the grace of God were actually more real
to me in that moment
than the burden of unnecessary guilt.
~~~~~
You know those moments when you catch a glimpse of that person
you know you can be...
those moments when a part of yourself that you don't like so much
and you've tried to "change"
seems long gone, wholly new, honestly different?
This was one of those moments.
And the good news is
I seem to be having more and more of them.
Seeing the Bigger Picture through Simple Moments.
Linking up at Sarah's today.
