Three months ago I wrote
this post that was inspired by the lyrics to
Landslide by Fleetwood Mac.
I shared about a few things I learned climbing Smith Rock in central Oregon.
I also wrote
this about that climb.
I shared about what a milestone moment that was for me -
the accomplishment of a goal that had long been a dream.
Well, yesterday I climbed another mountain.
This climb was a bit higher.
The trail was just a bit longer.
And getting to "the top"
{we didn't make it all the way to the summit - but almost!}
was both beautiful and inspiring.
HOWEVER...
the trails that we took were
SO MUCH HARDER
than anything I'd ever attempted before!
Very rocky.
Full of leaves...often slippery leaves...
and a fair bit of mud and water.
As we were climbing,
I kept repeating to myself,
"I know this is good for me...I know this is good for me."
I grabbed hold of any random root, or tree branch or solid rock that might help to pull me up.
On the way down those same roots acted as footholds
and the trees were there to lean on so I wouldn't slip or fall.
I was as moody as the overcast day,
and had to really fight to just keep moving forward.
A day that began as a fun-fall-bucket-list kind of day
asked so much more of me than I had anticipated.
I'm about six months into a wellness journey.
A journey that has been filled with victory, beauty and inspiration.
I've even inspired myself once or twice!
But it is just that.
A journey.
It's not a destination, or a summit or a short-term fix for what ails me.
It's a life long journey.
And I "get that" now in ways I never have before.
As I made my way down the mountain,
I smiled
{yes, there was some smiling!}
as I leaned into a sturdy tree.
Or slid on my bum down the side of a steep rock.
Or handed my husband my camera bag to put in his backpack.
Or reached out to take his hand as he helped me navigate our descent.
Yes...
the inside-of-my-heart smile grew larger
as each muscle and joint grew more and more tired.
Though this journey is mine.
All mine.
Of my choosing and by my will...
though this journey is
MINE
one thing is crystal clear.
I am not alone.
I have the support of a fantastic group of health care professionals.
I have the encouragement of family and friends.
And I have the hand of my
patient
steady
sure-footed
rock
of a husband.
Always there to keep me going.
Although yesterday was very different and much harder than I had anticipated,
I'm still going to file it as wonderful.
"Oh, it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spent it with you
Oh such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on"
Lou Reed