Sunday, December 16, 2012

Since Friday....

 "The Spirit also comes to help us, weak as we are. For we do not know how we ought to pray; the Spirit himself pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express. And God, who sees into our hearts, knows what the thought of the Spirit is; because the Spirit pleads with God on behalf of his people and in accordance with his will."
Romans 8:26-27

The only thing I could think to do on Friday evening, was to take myself to the water's edge. I watched the setting sun paint bold stripes across the twilight sky. I stood still, breathing in the frosty air and let the tears come.

I prayed.
As heaven's door was opening wide to welcome God's children home, I prayed.
Prayed, knowing that heaven's door was open...
Prayed, knowing that millions were lifting their eyes heavenward, hoping for the beyond...
Prayed, knowing that goodness was embracing those that had been taken....
Prayed, willing the heavens to send us goodness.
Send comfort and peace to those left behind.
I asked for faith. I begged for understanding and hope.
Mostly there were silent prayers. Wordless prayers.

Saturday morning, that same sun brought a new day.
Sparkling frost on the window sent chills. How would I, could I .... as a parent, greet a new day without one of my children? These are not the first parents to face this, nor would they be the last. It is so utterly unfathomable to me. As I got into my car to go meet a life went on...I knew that more of those wordless prayers were groaning and working their way heavenward.

It was later last night, as we spent an evening with my daughter, her husband and some of our dearest friends that I felt my heart begin to settle. A bit. My daughter, who loves to decorate for Christmas, has her childhood manger on a shelf in her newlywed home ... it's surrounded with light and mementos from her wedding. And I'm overcome with gratitude for the life that she's had...that she has. And pray that her future children will be safe. Children should just be safe. And I groan, and the Spirit pleads.

It was wonderful to get to play with three gorgeous children last night. Their laughter, innocence, energy and hugs began to fill up the broken open places in my heart. For me, as I'm sure is true for everyone reading here of my favorite, absolutely favorite things, is to look into the eyes of a child.

As Sunday morning draws to a close, and I sit with this space, searching for words...I know, as so many have written, that there really aren't any. So, I will, again, close my eyes, and offer silent prayers.


  1. I love the images you captured on Friday night. I know just what you are saying. My heart is completely broken for these families. The tears will not stop.

  2. This is lovely. One of the comforting things in this tragedy is knowing, as you said, that so many are crying out to God. And that He is there waiting to comfort us. I'm still having a hard time grasping it. My heart still aches with grief for the parents who are having a very different Christmas than they planned. Hopefully a lot of soul searching is occurring in our nation.

  3. Such an absolutely beautiful post. It is a blessing to think of so many people lifting their eyes up to the only One who can truly be a comfort....a healing balm.

  4. Yes, there's been a lot of that inward groaning, praying the words we are unable to form. This was beautifully written, Adrienne.

  5. Speechless from this tragedy...a beautiful and touching post.

  6. Oh, this was so beautiful. So so beautiful.

  7. This is beautiful. Perfect words.

  8. Such a heartfelt post. It was beautiful.

  9. One of the best posts I've read so far that captures the feelings on this tragedy. Well said.

  10. I still have no words. Yours are beautiful, friend.

  11. Isn't it wonderful to know that silent prayers are still heard? I'm grateful for my blogging friends; it's important that we share our thoughts during such a tragic time.
    That second photo is amazing.

  12. Thank you. I've read a lot over the weekend, and I think we all just have to be silent and pray, for maybe then we can move forward but still remember the past.

  13. So beautifully written Adrienne, your images are gorgeous! I have not read one article, I have not watched one news broadcast......I just can't do it!!

    I am, on many levels, ashamed that I have not spoken, or written about the tragedy. But I just can't!