I woke up without a headache this morning.
It's been four days.
And, in the grand scheme of suffering, this is NOT a big deal...but four days with a headache, a bit of a fever {and a few other not-necessary-to-mention ailments} was enough for me. Monday and Tuesday were both days when I could do little other than rest - even the computer screen hurt to look at after a while. So, when I woke up headache free, I was one happy gal.
AND, it's day 150 of my own little Project 365. Day 150! It is very rare for me to do ANYTHING for 150 straight days...so this feels like a pretty cool milestone to me! You see, I'm very good at coming up with ideas and starting projects. Less spectacular when it comes to fully completing things. Take keeping a journal for example. I'll start in, do great for a couple of days, then miss a day. And then feel like I've failed and need to start all over again. No, seriously. It's embarrassing the number of journals I have that are mostly filled with blank pages. Because they've been "restarted" in a totally new book.
I think this mentality is, in part, just who I am. And I think it was ingrained more deeply through years of dieting....you know, you start a diet, do great {read follow it perfectly} for a little while....then you "cheat" and that turns into failure in your {well, at least in my} mind....and you have to "start all over again." My project 365 was born from a desire to conquer this mindset and to push myself to walk {read get up off the couch and get more/any exercise}. And blogging had been something I had stuck with and totally enjoyed for more than a year...SO I combined two things I love {instagram and blogging} with two things I'm not as fond of {walking and daily discipline} to see if I could really start to see these areas of my life actually change!
So, you ask...how am I doing??!
Well, I'm walking. Not everyday. But most days. And so, so many more days than had I never started this!
AND, I AM PUSHING THROUGH...NOT obsessing on days when I can't (or just don't) walk. NOT beating myself up if I miss a couple of days posting pictures and have to play catch up. AND, most importantly to me? NOT STARTING OVER.
As I woke up on this 150th day, with no headache, I went out to enjoy a short walk (didn't want to over do it and risk another headache!) in the fresh air. There were chirping birds and flowers and I felt like I could hear the movie music playing....you know, that sweet music that plays when all is well and the main character is feeling good about life! And I felt no {read not-even-a-hint} of panic or worry or defeat that I hadn't been out for a few days. Just really glad to be at day 150 and still be aware of and plugged into my project...so much freer than I've ever felt before as I've "tackled" an area of my life that I think needs a-changin'.
And this is WONDERFUL.
Linking up today at
Peanut Butter in my Hair
to share our Simple Moments!
Lovely flowers. I had not realized that you used the blog and your photography as your motivation for walking. That is genius! You come across the most amazing things when you are out and about too. Love it. I encourage you to keep going.
ReplyDeleteGlad you feel better too!
Adrienne, I can relate to so many of your thoughts here ... the starting strong, the guilt, the starting over. All of that. The thing that's beautiful and on display in this post is that you took your natural strengths and desires and harnessed them to help you grow. That's beautiful in itself. Using what He's given us to spur our growth. I'm so glad that it's all come together for you into a moment of celebration at this milestone! Cheering and thanking Him with you!
ReplyDeleteOk. No lie... I adore this post! I see so much of myself in it, too. And AMEN to NOT starting over. Brilliant! Also, I may add that I've enjoyed all of your lovely instagram photos. And if it pushes you outside your comfort level- even better! You have more durability than I do.
ReplyDeleteGreat- NO- FANTASTIC!!! Bigger Picture, Adrienne. :)
Alita
This is me to a T: I'm very good at coming up with ideas and starting projects. Less spectacular when it comes to fully completing things.
ReplyDeleteI have so many unfinished projects it's a joke with my husband. Ideas, Ideas and no completion. I love how you are pushing through and making the change though...I reached 150 in my 365 as well and was so pumped! The journal i started din't fair as well :-)
Yup - that guilty cycle gets me every time too, not just with dieting or exercise, but with life in general. One moment I will choose to walk in obedience with God...and the next moment I mess up. And then, I will feel so guilty I feel like giving up altogether. But, the awesome thing about God is that HE doesn't give up. AND, His mercies are new every morning - so much so that when I repent and turn the right way He sees me completely without blemish once again. So amazing, this love of His! I love how you recognize your own weaknesses and have found a tangible way to overcome them. Keep on keeping on, girl!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you are up and around, headaches are the worst symptom for me when I'm sick. And I also have the tendency to do too much the minute I feel even the slightest bit better, so keep taking it easy, friend!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to cheer for you at the end of this! This is success, progress: Persisting toward a goal in spite of failings and little trip-ups. Good for you! (And I'm so glad you've caught a break on headaches! I endured two weeks of migraines soon after we moved overseas in December, and it was awful :/ )
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome! I love the idea of "not starting over." It so true that when we set up too many rules for ourselves, we're almost bound to fail. But if we relax the rules a little, a big project becomes totally do-able. I did the same thing with my 365 Project last year. I took a photo "for" every day of the year. Which means, some days I didn't take photos and just got caught up a little later. I still felt accomplished at the end, because I still had a really lovely tribute and memento of an important year in my life.
ReplyDeleteAnd with journaling....once I opened up the possibilities I could use a journal for (not just diary entries which I almost never do, but also free-writes, note-taking, to-do lists, shopping lists, dreaming lists, quotes I want to remember, passing thoughts I don't want to forget), I began to fill them up quite quickly. And though I don't write diaries, when I look back on them, I find they do chronicle my life and thoughts in an interesting way.
Good for you, Adrienne! Sounds like you're conquering the "starting over" thing.
ReplyDeleteI walk almost every morning and LOVE IT. I'm really disappointed when it rains, and I'm not able to go.
Stick with it, girlfriend!
I also love the idea of not "starting over". I love that you use your blog and the photos as your inspiration. I know that your blog and photos also inspire others!
ReplyDeleteAdrienne, this resonates with me...starting over so many times and I finally came to the same conclusion as you did to not start over but continue the journey....I live with pain every day ( I have arthritis) it started at a young age and most people don't know because I look healthy and sometimes it's really bad but I tell myself that others have it worse and that I won't surrender to the pain and I need to be grateful. I used to start many projects and not finish them but I learned to tackle what I need to and to do as much as I can and to stop beating myself up. So I think you are doing great and I am so happy that you are doing better and feeling better. Remember you are not alone, we all have challenges and we learn from them as we go. Love this. xoxo
ReplyDeletea great read adrienne!! i am so happy for you that you kept up with your project!!
ReplyDeletei think walking is just as important for the soul as it is for the body!!
happy you are feeling better, migraines are a whole nother kind of pain!!