Black & White Wednesday ~ Shhhhh.....

"thank you nothingness

thank you clarity

thank you, thank you silence...."

Alanis Morissette

I am so in love with this time of year.

Not because of the glitter and glow, or the red and the green.

Not because of the carols, gatherings, sweets or surprises.

It's not even the good food, traditions and gobs of precious family time that speak to my heart as the winter season settles in.

No. It's the silence.

I love watching the earth fall silent.

In theses weeks when I see the hustle, hear the bustle and feel my own schedule fill up with goodness, I need the simplicity and peace of winter's barren landscapes. As the last leaves fall, and the branches stretch, bend, reach, curl and twist against the sky I am thankful for nature's return to seeming nothingness. For the emptying and the shedding. For the clarity. 

And for the silence.

It seems that I have fallen into a very reflective mood as this year comes to an end...if you need me, I'll be out with the trees. Breathing in the crisp air, walking through the fallen leaves and the fallen snow and dreaming...not of sugar plums...but of the wonders to come our way as life marches forward.

Join us, and link up your

Black & White photos!

I'm also sharing this post

with friends for

Song-ography

Photo Heart Connection

and

Communal Global

Oh, October....

October carried me. Cradled me. Spoiled me.
As I hiked and climbed and wandered...as I watched the leaves paint the landscape, my heart filled to overflowing. Each trail, pond-scape and tree told its own tale. And I was like a child during story time. Eyes wide. Still. My full self hanging on every word. As the plot came to life before me, I was, once again, profoundly comforted by nature's parable.

Each season of change tells me that the now is ever moving. That what was, what is and what will be are ever and forever intertwined. I'm learning, yes still learning, to be unfinished. To accept - no - to enjoy being unfinished. As one tree holds on to the vibrant green of summer, the tree next to it is a fiery mixture of golds and oranges and reds. A quick glance in any direction will reveal yet another tree that is almost naked and bony, having lost all its leafy adornment. Pieces of yesterday, now and tomorrow weave an elegant tapestry right before my eyes. There are no questions of importance or of right and wrong. No notion of success or failure. Rather, each small part adds something to the ever changing narrative.

As I drank in October, I learned that unfinished is spectacular. And enough.

Self acceptance grows.
And I am comforted.

Sharing my Photo-Heart Connection with Kat Eye Studio

Black & White Wednesdays ~ See-through

Transparency inspires me.

I long to live fearlessly, exposing my heart.

I pray to live truthfully, sharing my real thoughts.

I strive to live openly, learning always. Always learning.

Transparency moves me.

I want to see you. See into you.

I don't ever take for granted the chance to know someone.

It's such an honor when someone lets you step into their soul ~ even just a little bit.

Dragonfly wings inspire me.
They're magically transparent!
When I was taking this shot, I was focused on the intricate design of each wing.
And I was trying to capture the light as it reflected off of the wing's delicate surface.
Little did I know, the real magic in the photo would be the shadow of the wing.
The shadow that showed up underneath.

A shadowy depth that would have never been revealed if not for the wing's transparency.

Please link up here and share your black & white photos!

I'm also Joining Kat for this month's

Photo Heart Connection

Yes, I Will

I don't get up in the morning and ask myself, "Can I?"
No.
For whatever reason, I believe that I can do most anything I set my mind to doing.
Yup.
I really believe that about myself.
And no,
I probably shouldn't say that. Sounds a bit pretentious, right? 
Don't worry, the rest of my story will knock me down a peg or two....or three or four!
Yeah,
you'd think that thinking, "I can" would be a good thing. 
The problem is, if you believe that you can...and then you don't....you know, deep down inside, that the only person to blame for failure is...
No. 
Not your parents. Or your schedule. Or the weather. Or your bank account. 
Yes, 
you guessed it. Knowing what I can do, and seeing what I don't do, leaves me with only one person to blame.
ME.

That's where this photo comes in.
When I look at this photo, I see the realization of something I've known I could do for a very long time. Something I'd wanted to do many times. 
But, no.
No.
NO.
In spite of years of wanting to, I'd never taken the two mile walk to this spot to take this photo.
And, yes.
Yes.
YES.
When I look at this photo, I know that something deep inside of me is changing. At some point during the month of August I learned that the question which challenges me is not "Can I?"
No.
The question that challenges me is, "Will I?"

Can I walk for miles? Climb a big rock? Clear my desk? Cook healthy food? Eat well? Launch a business. Sure I can.
But yeah....
you guessed it. The question is not "Can I?" 
No.
The question is "Will I?"
And, 
to my great surprise, the month of August taught me that, in fact,
Yes.
I am.
And, yes. I will.

Linking with friends at

Little Things Thursday, Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, Good Fences and Photo Heart Connection

Magic

Sometimes a walk is just a walk.
But there are days -
moments -
when a walk is so very much more.
When stepping off the airplane is followed closely
by footsteps through a forest.
When that first hug after a year's absence is followed closely
by easy conversation
and a long wander to a waterfall...

When these ingredients are mixed all together
a walk is more than just a walk.
It's magic.

As July drew to a close, our Oregon adventure was just getting started. Soon after landing in Portland, we set off through a lush, mossy forest in search of a waterfall,  and this photo practically took itself. My heart was so full as I watched my husband fall easily into step with his parents. I know how much this time with them means to him....we are so richly blessed with family to cherish. With family that cherishes us in return. I may not have seen any fairies or leprechauns in this greener than green, fanciful forest....but I did feel the magic.

Joining Kat for

Photo Heart Connection

and

Rebecca for

Simple Things Sunday

Black & White Wednesday ~ Skyline

As I looked back through all my photos from the month of June, I was struck by two things.

There were lots of photos of swans.

And lots of photos of food.

Swan photos because...well....there were lots of babies to watch...and swans are beautiful to photograph as I walk around my favorite pond. Even though many of these swan photos make me happy, they don't really tell my story. At least not my June story.

The food photos? Well....I've been cooking. Learning more about preparing delicious AND nutritious food. So, when I fix a meal that "works" I feel compelled to take a photo of it. {if you follow me on instagram - @scrapbookmom17 -  you're well aware of this} Cooking isn't really my thing, but I'm investing some heart and effort into forming some new culinary habits. So, while the food photos do tell a good bit of my June story, they aren't especially exquisite.

Which brings me to the photo of the city that holds my heart. 

I had to climb pretty high to get this photo. 

Climbing is another new thing I added into my life in the month of June.

   {as with cooking, the verdict is out on how much I will grow to love this new activity}

There was something about getting to the spot where I knew I'd be able to see the skyline and getting my very own shot of this beautiful city. The day was perfect. Not to hot, not too cold. I was alone with my view for quite a while....and I came home with an image that spoke to my heart.

An image that told me the story of my June - a month of taking some chances, of chasing some demons and of reaching new heights. It was a very good month.

 

Please link up here to share your black and white photos!

I'm also joining others for

Photo Heart Connection

and

Communal Global

Made New

I fell in love with the rose of sharon this winter.

I think it was the small seeds inside the dried pods.

They reminded me of sunflowers.

I took hundreds of photos of the faded, drooping and crinkled flowers.

I googled and googled until I discovered what type of bush I was shooting.

And I couldn't wait to see the transformation from dried stem to flowering plant.

Last week I saw this.

As the old hung on for dear life,

the new pushed through.

Fresh.

Vibrant.

Strong.

And in an instant the anxiety that had been plaguing me faded.

As I work to shed some old, unhealthy habits that

{let's just say it}

hang on for dear life

I worry that they will

{once again}

win.

I'm longing for fresh, vibrant and strong.

I'm pushing for fresh, vibrant and strong.

Somehow it helped me to see the old and the new co-exist on this bush.

I was reminded that change does not always happen in an instant

That just because evidence of the old hangs on,

it doesn't mean that the new is not growing.

Let me say that again.

Just because evidence of the old hangs on,

it doesn't mean that the new is not growing!

I love that thought.

My heart needed that thought!

And I am, once agina, grateful that my photography slowed me down,

opened my eyes,

and guided my heart towards a healing connection.

Joining Kat for 

Photo Heart Connection

and Heather for

Just Write

Black & White Wednesday ~ Something New

"To learn something new,

take the path that you took yesterday."

John Burroughs

On a dreary, March day I pulled up to a traffic light. Same street, same light. Different day. As I glanced to my left, I saw this steeple nestled in between the branches of a small tree. I enjoy the sight of branches and steeples both reaching upwards...towards the sky. Towards the light. But there was more than that on this particular day.

There were some tiny buds. Some of the first that I'd noticed this year. A little dab of hope at the end of each branch. I put the car in park, picked up my camera and rolled down the window. Just as I turned the lens to the tree, the sky lightened a bit. And it was through the lens that I saw them! The small dots that matched the buds and decorate the side of the steeple. 

With one click of the shutter, that moment was captured! 

That moment when something new was revealed to me along the same path I'd taken on so many yesterdays. 

Join me here for Black & White Wednesdays
and take a minute to visit
Photo Heart Connection

Nothing More ~

"To be humble

To be kind

It is the giving of the peace in your mind.

To a stranger

To a friend

To give in such a way that has no end.

We are Love

We are One

We are how we treat each other when the day is done."

The Alternate Routes

If you've visited me here much this winter,

You know there are two things that have held my heart.

Wildflowers {a.k.a. weeds}

and my iPhone easy macro lens.

I continue to be drawn to the unassuming....to the small, sweet surprises revealed through my macro lens. I feel like a whole new world has opened up to me. Like I've discovered a treasure trove of secret elegance.

It has filled my soul to be reminded over and over again that that the seemingly less important...the quiet, more bashful and simple things around us hold a beauty all their own. I remember that there is no creation, no being, no gesture, no moment of our lives too small to matter. It all matters. And when I add up my moments at the end of the day, I want  it to be kindness, humility and generosity that have written the story of my day.

"We are Peace

We are War

We are how we treat each other and nothing more."

Linking up with 

Song-ography

and 

Photo Heart Connection

Love in Winter

I love this photo.
When I saw it for the first time, the image cut straight to my heart.
For many, many reasons.

Gentleness.
I love the muted colors, the soft background. The evidence that, in her quiet, gentle way, nature is always at work. Restoring. Preparing. Change comes gradually, yet deliberately. Even through the bitter cold, future stems and leaves and flowers are stirring.

Simplicity.
I love that this shot is nothing more than the end of thin branch on a rather unremarkable little bush. It wasn't staged. Or edited. {just cropped a tiny bit} I love that the my iPhone and that $15 easy macro lens continue to provide me with countless moments of good and random fun! This moment came while I was waiting to pick up a young woman after school last week....and believe me when I tell you, it shouldn't be this simple/basic/easy to capture such a beautiful image. But point, click...voila! It absolutely was that simple!

Surprise.
Few things please me more than seeing more in an image after it's shot than before I take it. I could see all the tiny buds on the branch, but not the fuzz. I noticed that there were buds on one side, but missed the pointed bits on the other. And don't you just love the way the buds seem like fingers trying to hold on to what's inside? Color me surprised.

Macro.
For now, I'm just playing with a silly little macro add on for my iPhone. But I may have stumbled on to the bit of photography that speaks most to my heart....I am beyond mesmerized!

Sharing my

Photo Heart Connection

and linking up with 

The Good. The Random. The Fun. and Macro Monday

Black & White Wednesday ~ More Frost

do what you can

with what you have

where you are

Theodore Roosevelt

These photos speak to my heart.

There are days 

{moments really, not days}

when I feel surrounded by only the mundane.

When you've spent a dozen years in Paris

and counted giraffes on safari

and flown over the pyramids...

When you've spent summers close to the Cascades

and watched the sun rise over a Mexican beach

and held your new born baby in your arms...

Well, let's just say that my days in an unimaginative little rented house

with my secretarial desk a mere five minutes away

can, at times, feel oh so tired.

And ordinary.

But there's a window pane I pass each morning as I head down stairs towards my coffee,

and these days I'm treated to a daily masterpiece.

It's not the Louvre.

It's just my little window pane.

But the frost has been particularly artistic of late.

And if I'm tempted to think it's all blah...or ordinary....this little existence of mine,

I'm reminded that each 

day

breath

rain drop

snow flake 

or

frosted window pane

is a gift.

An extra-ordinary gift.

Join us here today ~ share your black and white photos!

I'm linking up with 

Photo Heart Connection

and

Wednesday Around the World

Black & White Wednesday ~ Diversity

From leafy to branchy.
From full, green, colorful and changing magically to empty, sprawling, bony fingers reaching to the sky.

I love watching the trees change!

As the blustery winds and chilled air have carried us through November, I spent many moments focused (with lens, heart and mind) on the tremendous diversity of all the changing trees.

It was just ten days ago, standing under the sprawling branches that tower above the town green, that I heard the trees sharing a secret with me. The sun illuminated the leaves that still filled the great tree above, and yet the trees on the horizon were already emptied of their leaves.

No judgement. The oaks aren't worried about keeping up with the maples. All shapes and sizes. Some transitioning from summer to winter in the blink of an eye, some with leaves that linger still.

And I thought....what a beautiful picture this makes. Each tree playing their part and changing at their own pace. How lovely it would be if we'd all look at our differences this way...if we'd learn to accept, appreciate and learn from each other...if we'd rejoice in the beautiful whole that is this world.

Yup. I just love the trees!



{I'm linking up with Photo Heart Connection}

One Leaf at a Time

"Nature will bear the closest inspection.

She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf,

and take an insect view of its plain."

Henry David Thoreau

For me, this season is all about the leaves. 

I enjoy watching them change

one at a time

until

they light an entire tree on fire.

I enjoy watching the breeze carry them

one at a time

through the crisp air

until

they're woven into a ground smothering magic carpet.

I even enjoy watching them dry up

one at a time

their edges crisp and curled

until 

they give us a crunch-crunch-crunch under our feet.

Each veined, carefully crafted beauty 

holds on

rustles

catches the light

glistens...

a dot in the impressionist painting that is autumn
until
one at a time
they let go.

This fall, for me, has been more about 

the leaf

than 

the leaves.

Oh, I do love the leaves and their collective tableau.

But this year the lens has drawn me near to

each

leaf...

helped me to inspect closely

to rediscover the miracle that is 

autumn

one leaf at a time.

Sharing my Photo Heart Connection

at

Kat Eye Studio

One Leaf at a Time

A first breath. A first glance. A first step. 

Our baby. Our love. Change.

Most firsts are so exciting. Exhilarating, even. The beginning of a new life, a new love....a new book, or recipe or journey. So much promise. Our hearts expand. Our imagination is set free. We love new beginnings.

As summer fades, and fall starts to show her colors...the notion of change is in the air. And I've seen my first falling leaf. As it swirled and twirled and wafted its way from branch to lawn, I saw a letting go. An ending. A melancholy dance. 

Isn't that the way it is with change? With that first step? It's often so hard to move towards something without looking back over our shoulder... It's hard to take that first step. But when we do - oh when we do!! Leaving behind that which needs to be shed, we turn towards what's next... we shake off the fear. We emerge from the loss. We let go of the negative. One step at a time ... as with the brand new ... our hearts expand and our imagination soars!

I love the fall.

I love this glorious first step toward renewal and rebirth. It's the season of change...and it's bold. Colorful! Announcing itself with a crisp breeze, a refreshing rain or a dazzling treetop, it seems to call to me, to reassure me. To remind me just how wonderful the letting go can be.

Yes, I've seen my first falling leaf.

My first twirling,

swirling,

wafting,

dancing...falling leaf.

Linking up with

Photo Heart Connection

and

Project 52
and
Back to School, Back to Writing

In-sight-ful

"For me photography is to place head, heart and eye 

along the same line of sight.

It is a way of life."

Henri Cartier-Bresson


I planned (in my head) to work a bit with silhouettes while I had time on vacation.
I knew (in my heart) that hummingbirds and sunflowers would be waiting for me.
Hummingbirds and sunflowers...and beautiful sunsets.
I have not been disappointed.
The evenings here in Oregon have been wonder-full.

Even though I can't say that photography is a way of life for me...
I do know that when the desires of my head, heart and eye line up perfectly 
and the camera rewards me with an image that captures what I've envisioned...
Well, this makes me very, extremely, profoundly happy!

Both of these images bring me joy
and will transport me right back to one of my favorite places on earth
every time I see them.

Linking up with
Little Things Thursdays
Mama Kat's Writers Workshop
and
Photo Heart Connection

A Wing and a Prayer

{edited using Burnt Burlap - a Creative Commons texture}

As a young {20 something} believer, my faith revolved around the Christian community that I was a part of. It was a wonderful community. A place I belonged, grew, learned...my first true spiritual home. As a young believer the eyes of my heart had been opened to the wonder that is faith. To the security that comes when we meet unconditional love. To the hope that is born as grace shows us a different way. Over time, however, I allowed my faith to become swallowed up by religion....and I allowed the workings and strengthening of my church community to become, when I'm honest, more important to me than God himself. So with many tears, and after almost 30 years, I chose to stop worshiping as a member. That was about five years ago....

What, you ask, does this have to do with a dragonfly?

All I can say to that is - look at those wings.

After so many years of structured church life - I have found myself wandering....spiritually wandering. Not away from God - no, never that...but exploring, looking for other ways to express my faith, deepen my faith and share my faith. There are many days when I miss being a part of a community of believers...and still some days when that highly structured religiousness rears its ugly head and I wonder if I'm not just sloppily, lazily trying to live my faith on just a wing and a prayer.

And I might be. Who knows. But look at those wings.

This photo, of all the shots I took during the month of June, means so much to me. Because it brought me immediately home to the source. To the creator, designer, architect and builder of all. It cut right through the noise that pollutes my mind, opened the eyes of my heart, and brought me right back to that place of awe I knew in my twenties. I know that the one who fashioned those stunning wings for this dragonfly...well he can carry me, hear me and hold on to me through all of my wanderings.

Really....look at those wings!!

Linking up with

Photo Heart Connection

and

Just Write

******If you'd like to enter a giveaway, details here******

The Tree at The Corner

"I remember, I remember,

The house where I was born,

The little window where the sun 

came peeping in at morn.

He never came a wink too soon,

nor brought too long a day...."

Thomas Hood

This tree, that hugs the corner of a small apartment building near my house,

reminds me of a tree that hugs the corner of my childhood home.

Not the same bloom, or the same architecture...

but it's the color combination...

and the soft flower set against the jagged stucco.

The subtle combination of our natural world

and the man made...

Shoot, edit.....and voila!

My own little stroll down memory lane.

Linking up here

Kindred

This picture took itself.

well...

I pointed, focused and clicked.
At then end of a long walk around my pond, I quickly took one last shot.

Of my willow tree. Of my setting sun. Of one of the benches that I love....where I often sit and write. Or pray.
I don't know the fisherman...but I'd seen him here before, and loved getting to shoot him silhouetted against the changing light.

What I didn't know {see, feel, realize} until I saw the image, was how it captures so perfectly what this place means to me. I'm often there in the evening to walk off the stress of the day...and this day, two days after the horrible bombing in my home town...I really needed my time around the pond. When I looked at this shot and saw the fisherman settled right under the sun....the light dancing across the water and kissing his pole, I was reminded that part of the magic of this place is that it really isn't just mine.

I was reminded that we all seek solace. Peace.
That I'm not alone.
Ever.
It's what we've felt here in Boston in the aftermath of that day. That there's so much good in most everyone. That we can be one if we focus on that good. On what we have in common. Even if it's just the setting sun and the gentle breeze at the end of a long day.





Linking up Here


and Here

In Between

The damp ground

gives way

as I wander.

My pace is slow, my eyes seek

signs of the season in my own back yard.

The birds above

serenade me

as I hunt.

Their rhythm is choppy, their melodies compete

as they taunt me - heard, but not seen.

The tiny buds

show themselves

as I focus.

Feet planted, crouching low and leaning in

I ask the camera to hold this moment.

This in-between-moment.

This moment

in between winter and spring;

in between young and old;

in between mother and friend;

in between doubt and faith.

The all-seeing lens

works magic,

defining this moment.

The buds that I sought came into focus, 

but it was

the lens that found the old, rusty fence, 

and caught the pure light.

Linking up with my friends at 

Bigger Picture Blogs

and

Project 52

and for the first time with

Photo Heart Connection