Thursday, April 10, 2014


"We cannot see our reflection in running water.
It is only in still water that we can see."
Zen Saying

I spent a good part of my young adulthood too busy to be still. Even my spirituality was busy....full of meetings and people and services and good deeds. My quiet time was an item to be checked off of a mental list of things to do if all was to be well with my soul. This spiritually active chapter of my life was written during the years that my children were young. So there was movement. And business galore. In those days, when there was unrest in the deeper waters of my soul, I admit to spending lots of energy trying to gloss it over and appear calm. Never a thought was given to retreat. To rest. To stillness.

Flashback to my childhood. I was a loner. Often a lonely one. Acutely aware of how I somehow wasn't like the others. I grew to equate being alone with not being liked...and, as adolescence waved her magic wand, to not liking myself. So, when my first spiritual awakening included acceptance and warmth and validation from a group of actual people, I thought I'd found heaven on earth! I grew to believe I was loved....but the path to self acceptance and self love was a longer, quieter path.

This place, this lovely pond, is where I celebrate me. In the stillness of this place I am alone. Yet never lonely. It has taken years...and the wonderful work that is a thirty year marriage. And the gift of two exceptional children. And the strength of the truest of friends. And some therapy. And, I suppose, just life as I grow a bit's taken a lot to bring me to this point of spiritual surrender. To this place in my life, both physically and metaphorically, where I can be wholly still. And genuinely enjoy a crystal clear reflection of me.

Joining friends for


  1. This is an amazing testimony! I find that most of us try to stay busy, always doing. The reflection and stillness just aren't priorities in those early years, but it catches up. So glad that you have found comfort in stillness now. It's such a necessary discipline.

  2. I am right there with you! Quiet is vital to me now in a way it never was before (or I never realized it maybe). I, too, was busy, busy, busy and covering up anything hard or unpleasant. Nearly 30 years of marriage -- children who taught me so much more than I ever expected -- therapy = learning that quiet is good, just as accepting myself is good. Thanks so much for sharing.

    visiting from WW

  3. Surrendering ourselves to spiritual matters is quite revealing, isn't it? It's a great place to be!

  4. Beautiful - I'm so glad you have found strength in stillness and have a literal place you can go to slow down.

    I've been choosing a word for the year the past few years, and last year my word was slow... Oh the lessons I have learned from slowing down. Instead of multi-tasking, I try to fully engage in one thing at a time. It's paid off in more ways than one to learn to enjoy stillness.

    I love what Ann Voskamp says..."life is not an emergency"

  5. This was so beautiful! You have such an amazing way with words - so gorgeous!

  6. spiritual surrender...a good place
    to be.

  7. Gorgeous! Love the photos.

    I think it takes a certain level of maturity to not fill in the quiet time with activity. I'm just now beginning to appreciate stillness as well.

  8. I can not get over that pond. If ever there is a movie made of your life, the pond has to play a major role!

  9. Beautiful images to go with your profound words. I love the reflections in this beautiful pond. Quiet, still. Both things I have finally managed after over 60 yrs on this earth. It's work, but worth it.

  10. I love the quote and your post. I savor my quiet but it was not so at a younger age either. I'm trying to gently help my children to find this peace at a much younger age! As a priest I know would say, "First we have to know that we are a beloved child of God"....
    I hope to link up with you someday.

  11. You've inspired me to find some quiet in my own life!

  12. Oh Adrienne this post rings so true for me... your photos are stunning and you've written about reflection so beautifully.