Thursday, September 15, 2011

To New Moms....

 These days I only give "advice" in the form of "this is what has helped me." Plenty of experts out there to tell us all what to do. I try and just share, since my research data only covers my experience with two subjects...cute subjects, it's true. But let's be real, my "data" comes from a really small sample!

I was a "new mom" in 1987...

And again in 1990...

So, I guess that makes me an old mom now! All the things they say about time flying by are true...but if you're a mom and reading this and keeping a blog, you're already doing the important job of storing up treasured photos and memories as your family grows and changes. So I don't have to suggest you do that!

I just have two thoughts.

First of all ~ As a young mom, I made one vow. And by vow, I mean the "before God" kind of vow. I promised that I would never let my kids embarrass me. To me, the job of being a parent was never about how I measured up as a parent or how my kids measured up against other kids. All of our children will hit rough patches and do some troubling things. Our job, it seems to me, is about getting them through these times without adding to their load any pressure to make us look good.

Along with that ~ Let's try to give all the support and kindness we can to each other as parents. Maybe we wouldn't be so troubled about what others think about our parenting, if we only ever said nice things about each other's children. It's sad to me how often I hear moms talking badly about other kids. And how easy it is to slip into that pattern. No wonder we're all stressed. We're quick to point out what little Johnny down the street needs help with and how his parents aren't paying enough attention to him. etc. etc. etc. Well, I'm here to tell you share, that after 26 years of parenting....I cherish more than anything my friendships with people who I know love my kids for who they are and have, through their support and kindness, helped me along my parenting journey.

Here's to all the moms (old and new!) who've taken a moment to read this...I hope you LOVE your journey as much as I TREASURE mine!


  1. I don't know of a child who doesn't embarrass their parents...or maybe that's just my kids.

    And I know I take some perverse pleasure in turning the tables once in a while, but it's all in fun.

  2. I love the line about supporting each other as mothers and women. Seriously, I can't tell you how many times moms would tell me I was doing something wrong because my son was not sleeping, or because I had stopped breastfeeding, etc. Why can't we all just be supportive? Your kids are adorable!

  3. Advice is a tricky thing, isn't it? :) I am a mom of 3 now, with one more on the way, but they're all still pretty young. Even so, I'm starting to have people come to me to *ask*, which I think is hilarious considering how I am faking my way through it.

  4. My brother embarrassed me and my parents so much when he was little that I knew when I had my kids it was bound to happen. It's the one thing having a little brother taught me. Maybe some other stuff too, but I'm not giving him credit for it!

  5. Advice is not always easy to give...tricky..but support is always easy and so is kindness. Thank you foe a lovely post.

  6. Your advice and the way it was given were both very good. :)

    hi from over at MKs

  7. Well said. Advice can be hard to give, but the world will never end from too much kindness. It's definitely a worthwhile lesson to teach our children.

    Visiting from Mama Kat's.

  8. Well written, Adrienne! (Sorry I didn't comment yesterday: I was away from the computer most of the day)
    You & I chose the same prompt.