Before the coffee and the office and the errands, there was the awakening.
From a dream. From a nightmare?
It came early. Before the sun had fully lit the skies, I was troubled by the dream. My son had been hurt and had kept it from me. And the hiding of it was so odd, so off...so not him. As I asked him why? What had happened? He found my eyes and began to explain. As he spoke, his face changed and for just a split second I was looking at my brother. Then it was my son was in front of me once again. Before I woke up I saw my brother a few more times.
The awakening was unsettling.
After that there was coffee, and the office and the midday errands. All so mundane. So boring. But I had songs to carry me along....some instagramming to document the dullness....a note pad to scribble some words that would be written somewhere more permanent later...just a typical day. A day in which I fought for meaning. Struggled not to miss the beautiful and the Godly. As I walked through the light drizzle towards my car, the town green lured me in. So I slowed my steps and then stopped. Not to smell the roses...but to photograph them. And in those few minutes, the tension of the traffic, and the dullness of the routine fell away and I remembered to be awake.
Minutes later an email came to my inbox. A travel itinerary from my brother. He was making a last minute trip from Hawaii to Boston...to help see his son through a minor operation next week. When I called to let him know our door was open and his room was ready, I shared my dream. As we talked, we figured out that he had been online making his plane reservations around the same time his face had come into my dream.
Now - I'm not one to go searching for meaning in my dreams.
But if meaning finds me there, I'm not one to ignore it either.
Soft rain. Pretty petals. Faces I long to see.
I wonder ~ is it my job to find meaning, or simply to stay awake and aware as meaning finds me?
Sharing the Simple Moments that
connect us to the Bigger Picture
at Sarah's Place today.
Good for you and taking the time to stop and breath, enjoying the flowers. Sounds like dreams about people you miss seeing.
ReplyDeleteThose are the synchronicities that Marshall and I seem to experience so frequently. They always make us say: "hmmmmm.......".
ReplyDeleteAs a mother, I can imagine that was a very unsettling dream. Glad everything's okay. Hope your nephew's surgery goes well.
I feel the same when I have an unsettling dream and everyone reassures me that it's only a dream....except I wonder if it's our intuition coming alive in our dreams. Best wishes to your brother and your nephew.
ReplyDeleteI always feel uneasy after an unsettling dream. I hope your nephew's surgery goes well.
ReplyDeleteI second Ayala because she responded perfectly and in just the same way I would.
ReplyDeleteI say that it is a little from column a and a little from column b and what we learn is to always trust our heart.
By the way when I was reading this post I heard your voice in my head and your very dramatic and poignant pauses. I have adored hearing your voice during writing circles.
Alita
Echoing Alita ... I LOVE hearing your voice in my head as I read your words. It's soothing even in a post that is a little unsettling in places.
ReplyDeleteI think we have to be open to letting the meaning find us and then acknowledging it as it does ... the old, he who has eyes let him see, ears, let him hear.
Love the way, too, that you wrapped this all together and up.
To stay awake and aware as meaning finds me...love this!
ReplyDeleteDreams so often catch me off-guard, and maybe this is why: to make sure I'm listening. Whether or not it has to *mean* something, I don't know, but the parallels are heart-waking, aren't they?
(Those rose photos are spectacular!)
I am a very active dreamer, and many of mine are unsettling. Your thoughts here gripped my heart with hope and inspiration, Adrienne, because I have a difficult time shaking the emotions I sometimes wake with. Thank you for reminding me to relax into the day God has given me, and perhaps let the meaning come to me when it's His perfect time for it to do so.
ReplyDeleteWow, that is some coincidence!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful flowers ;)
i hung on your every word, i smiled as i came to the end....
ReplyDeleteyour images are so pretty, i imagine there will soon be an explosion of pictures!!
Oh wow. This is so poignant. Both what happened and the way you talk about it. I just love this line: "I'm not one to go searching for meaning in my dreams.
ReplyDeleteBut if meaning finds me there, I'm not one to ignore it either." And this one: "is it my job to find meaning, or simply to stay awake and aware as meaning finds me?"
Very thought-provoking. Thank you.