Thursday, July 3, 2014

Comfort


Comfort: Relief in affliction; consolation; solace. 
                        A state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants, with freedom from pain and anxiety.

On June 30th, in the glow of the evening's golden light, I climbed the hill behind my pond. As I was climbing, I was catching up with a good friend...she was talking, and I was breathing heavily! Right before the trail starts to head back down, I stood in front of this beautiful tree while we said our good-byes. And I felt a wave of comfort wash over me.

It's not easy to comfort me. Just ask my husband! When I'm agitated or melancholy, I'm a retreater. I close ranks, find the corner of a couch, a blanket and a good TV show. And, let's be honest, this retreat is even more soothing if it includes some food! From my earliest years, I have been a self-soother... This, though not always a bad thing, has led to some life-long questionable habits. Habits that I am trying to break!

There are two really hard things about making food and lifestyle changes. The first is learning to be kind to myself in the process. So vital. The good news is that the negative tapes in my mind are loosing their power. Not disappearing {unfortunately} but most definitely loosing their power! 

The second, and perhaps even more difficult thing, is feeling the loss of my go-to comforts. It feels rotten - like a close friend has moved away. But, standing in front of this beautiful tree, I had an "aha moment!" 

As I felt that wave of comfort wash over me, it dawned on me that with the letting go of some forms of comfort, I was making room for new consolations. The voice of my friend. The fresh air. The sight of the setting sun behind this tree. These things were, in fact, soothing me. Wholly. Not just soothing part of me while hurting other parts of me. 

So, as I learn to make better choices....I am even learning to seek out and choose to comfort myself in healthy ways! I know it might take time until these things feel natural...but I'm also pretty sure I've only begun to discover what some of these wholly satisfying comforts might be!




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9 comments:

Snap said...

I've always found Mother Nature to have a profound effect on me ... comfort being one of them. We are part of something so much bigger than ourselves -- the universe! Amazing isn't it?!!! Gorgeous tree -- I'm a tree hugger, too! ;) Beautiful post.

Molly said...

Same here... I need the time to retreat and regroup on my head and it is why I walk nearly everyday

Mollyxxx

Tamar SB said...

I can so relate. When I get upset/stressed/anxious I want to cocoon up and avoid the world. Mother nature can break me from it - she is a true mother!

Kim Cunningham said...

What a beautiful post! So happy and proud of you for pushing through the walls to get to this new vista! Nature can truly comfort what ails us.

Grace said...

I could curl up and take a nap under that tree, or have a picnic there, or read a book...such an inviting little spot.

B Nickerson said...

two thumbs up :)

Mama Kat said...

That photo is stunning! I think there are a lot of us who can benefit from you sharing your heart like this on your blog. Many of us have these same feelings and obstacles in our lives!

Felicia said...

wonderful thoughts and a gorgeous capture.

noexcuses said...

Lovely words, and spoken so eloquently, too! Change can be so hard sometimes, but once that first step is taken...it's not as bad. I am morphing into my "new" self and learning to find comfort in healthier ways. Wonderful post!