Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Clearly


"I can see clearly now the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way.
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind...
Oh yes, I can make it now the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared.
Here's the rainbow I've been praying for....
Look all around,
Look straight ahead...
It's gonna be a bright, bright, bright sunshiny day."
Jimmy Cliff

It's true.
I can see clearly.
Even though I can't see all of the obstacles. {can we ever?}
And I'd be lying if I said all of the bad feelings have disappeared. {will they ever?}
But I can say,
with an absurd amount of confidence,
that I can see clearly now.

Because my dark clouds have vanished,
I won't bore you with the darkness.
The darkness that told an eleven year old girl that she was fat.
The darkness that has followed her, and shaped her and gripped her tightly
for about forty years.
She's tried to escape.
Deny it's existence.
Act like it wasn't there.
Control it.
Oh yes....there have been so many attempts at that dreaded self control!
I think that she's even tried to face it.
Really honestly face it several times.
But it's haunted her and defeated her time and time again.

Until now.
It's true.
And I can't even completely explain it.
I just know that I can see clearly now.
Not clearly in the sense that I'm all done, or have it all figured out
or know all the answers.
I still have weight I want to loose and strength I want to gain.
I have mindsets I want to loose and habits I want to gain.
And many, many more things to learn on this wellness journey.

But for me, today,
it's not about seeing the path clearly.
It's about believing that as it becomes clear I will walk.
It's crystal clear to me now that I will walk the path.
That I will take the steps.
That I will keep moving forward.
I will continue to learn and overcome any obstacles.
There will be no looking back.
No turning back.
Just bright, sunshiny days ahead.


{confession time...extremely hard to hit publish on this post...but out there it goes...just a step on the path}


Joining Kathy for

15 comments:

  1. Very lovely Picture of you all dolled up. You look so pretty and I like your hubby as well. You got a handsome keeper of a man. Glad you enjoyed your time away.

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  2. Beautiful post for a beautiful lady! <3

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  3. You are amazing! You have an amazing soul and so glad the path is becoming clearer!

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  4. And I'm so glad you did hit publish. It's scary to put yourself out there, to be so honest. Just know that you are beautiful both inside and out, you look amazing! xo

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  5. You are such a beautiful lady both inside and out. Those inner narratives can totally blind us to what others see, but yes, you are beautiful!

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  6. You are such a beautiful lady both inside and out. Those inner narratives can totally blind us to what others see, but yes, you are beautiful!

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  7. Love you so incredibly much. You are beautiful inside and out. Congratulations on your journey. You are an inspiration!

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  8. My heart breaks for the past you and soars for the new you. I hope you see the beautiful, caring and spectacular person you are inside and out. I have it on my 5 year plan to have you show me around your city. I can't wait.

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  9. Great post (and pic)! Makes me happy!

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  10. Your story feels so familiar. You are more than a set of numbers; even so, it is hard. I have found feeling better, exercising and thinking healthy with food choices has been a more attainable goal and much more rewarding than striving to reach a certain range on the scales.

    You are beautiful and brilliant and have so much more to offer than a size 2.

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  11. Well hello gorgeous! Can I just tell you I am inspired by the direction you decided to steer these lyrics! And how perfect they are to tell your story. I love the confidence in your last shot. It's visible. It makes me happy to see that. On a personal note...I tossed my scale (and it's NUMBERS) literally out the window, about 4 years ago. It was the most toxic relationship I've ever been in. It was like a romance gone bad, movie of the week. My Better Half told me "how can something so arbitrary as NUMBERS hold the power that they do over you? Determine your mood? Your self worth?" And it was true. I literally have no idea what I actually weigh anymore. Even when I go to the doctors office...I refuse to be weighed. And if it is absolutely necessary, I tell them to not TELL me the weight. Tossing that bad boy was the best thing I ever did. The Better Half is just hoping it's not a trend, haha.

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  12. Here's to truth my friend! The truth will set you free. Goodness, you are so beautiful inside and out!!! Like the reminder I put in our cloak room. Remember who you are...a beloved child of God.

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  13. You are so beautiful Adrienne, I hope you finally see it!!

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