Elementary school was the worst….but graduation day wasn’t great either. I could wine for a long time about how I never fit in or how my elementary school gym teacher used to tease me and tell me to go home and eat some Wheaties ~ yeah, he was a real charmer. But I’ll skip the tales of recess loneliness, the social rejection woes and just head straight to the day of my high school graduation.
I don’t remember much (of that day, or much of my whole child hood, really). And I’m sure there was some kind of celebration. I can picture the valedictorian as he gave his speech. And I remember that my grandmother was there for the ceremony with my parents. My only other memory of the day is feeling absolutely mortified each time they called my name because I had won some award or scholarship. I remember no feeling of pride or sense of accomplishment. Not one ounce of satisfaction or pleasure. Just mortification. Too many times. Too much attention.
Each time my name was called
I had to stand up.
I’m sure I blushed.
I guess I faked a smile.
I KNOW
I just
wanted
it to be over.
I feel (almost) apologetic as I write this. Poor me ~ nice suburban life, great public school education and, apparently, a good number of accomplishments. Don't know why the recognition that day affected me as it did. I just know I didn't want people looking at me, didn't want the eyes of those kids on me.
Now the question comes, to post or not to post?
Cause even now I find this all a bit embarrassing.
