Monday, November 17, 2014

fifty-four


"Goals transform a random walk into a chase."
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi


My fifty-fourth year on this planet is complete. Complete with love and family. I could just stop right there. I am loved. My husband and I celebrated our thirtieth wedding anniversary this year. It's a wonder-full thing to be able to say that we are closer to one another and happier together than we've ever been. Our family is healthy, strong, close. We go through things, sometimes tough things, and emerge with softer hearts and closer connections on the other side. Yes, this alone 'completes' me.


As I look back over the year, I am also struck by how many genuinely wonderful friendships I share with an eclectic collection of remarkable humans! From dear old friends, to heart-connected-cyber friends, to best of best friends .... all the way to some brand new friends who will make this year one that I'll always remember. Wow. Even writing that humbles me. I am blessed beyond measure.


This year has been marked by change. Somewhere, deep down inside of me, a shift has occurred. I've gone from living with my health and well-being last on my list, to prioritizing the 'care and feeding' of me! I could fill a book with the attempts that I've made over all the years of my life to make this vital change take place....but I'll just say as I head into my fifty-fifth year, I'm living in my body in a way that I never have. And this is good. Oh, so good.


It has taken many years and the unconditional love of many people to bring me to this point. Every attempt, every crazy health choice I've made, have all contributed to me being ready for the journey that I am on today. I celebrate my birthday today with all of the pieces of these fifty four years - the pieces that still fit in today's picture, and the pieces that I've had to cast aside. Every moment, every morsel contributes to who I am as I type these words. And for that - for all the pieces - I am grateful.


One of the many things I've learned this year as I wander around "my" pond, is that having a goal changes my time outside in nature. If I head over to the pond hoping to spot the swans, or capture the heron, or see a spectacular sunset...well, I'm pretty sure I miss more than I actually see. I loose all sense of being in the moment, of appreciating whatever might cross my path. I find myself getting tense and sacrificing the fun and the joy that come from being in one of my favorite places. When I walk with no camera, I just keep moving and let the place work it's magic. When I carry my camera, I tend to follow the light - whatever the sun is showing me that day, I pause to capture it.

I've tried to carry this lesson into my daily life where goals, deadlines and responsibilities tend to pile up and become the norm...become the elements that structure my world. My prayer for this coming year is to continue to learn the art of staying in the moment ... not only in my unstructured wanderings, but also through my ordinary days. Not instead of living responsibly, but as I live responsibly. I find myself eager to pursue growth without chasing it down or imposing artificial deadlines in the process.


So, on this chilly, gray and rainy November 17th, I send this off into the blogosphere with a smile on my face, and gratitude - so much gratitude - in my heart.



Joining Tamar for

13 comments:

  1. This is beautiful....Happy Birthday to you! I'm glad to have "met" you!

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  2. This is so encouraging. You sound in just the right place and content. What a gift! Happy Birthday with many returns!

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  3. Happy, happy, happy Birthday Adrienne! You have always inspired me to dig deeper and love wider. I pray that God will make himself even more evident in your life this coming year and selfishly that someday on some side if the world we can catch up over a cup of tea. All the best, Kelly

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  4. Happy birthday...I really like the shot of the heron. Very nice

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  5. Lovely post!! Happy birthday to you!

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  6. What a wonderful year you have had!! Here's to many more!!

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  7. Beautiful and inspiring. I hope your birthday is awesome!

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  8. Happy Birthday and congratulations on finding 'your' happy point and before I forget to mention it - that heron shot is nothing short of 'ohh, awe, amazing, fabulous, incredible'. It is liberating to discover the world will not brand you with a large "S" for selfish if you actually take care of yourself, take time to explore without justifying it with an agenda, and to embrace who you are. If only this didn't have to come with age and occurred to us when we were 25 versus 50 something.

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  9. Happy Birthday Adrienne!! Lifting a virtual champagne glass: Here's to 55!!

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  10. Beautiful images Adrienne + un très joyeux anniversaire to you!! More fitting than happy I think, it feels to me that you are truly joyful! Your words are inspiring, especially living in gratitude and "prioritizing the care and feeding" of oneself. May you have a wonderful year of continued blessings.

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  11. you have a joy-filled life Adrienne!! you nurture your friendships, which are so important to you. you adore your family and always make sure they feel your love!! warmth surrounds you and I always feel it. I hope you had a happy birthday!!!

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  12. I always love reading a piece on gratitude. So happy for you for your many blessings. Happy birthday... and here's to many more wonderful ones!

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  13. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful--inside and out--happy birthday!

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