Friday, June 29, 2012

S'more Summertime Goodness









Linking up at Melissa's
And sharing our summer happiness
Six Words at a time!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

My Sundown

Today I'm linking up with a community of writers known as Bigger Picture Blogs. We were paired up with other bloggers to collaborate on a post in honor of the Bigger Picture Blog's second blog-a-versary! My writing partner, Julie, blogs HERE - working with her was a JOY!! The prompt we were given was the song My Sundown from Jimmy Eat World. Enjoy!


I see it around me, I see it in everything.

The phones, the paper shuffling and the office supplies that fill my days leave me restless and longing for more. The truth is, they exhaust me. Lifting my eyes and listening to my heart, I know I’m called to create....to decorate this world, not to help keep it organized.

Surrounding me, my little world is so raw leaving me feeling exposed and draining the energy from my body with every movement I make. Something needs to change within. All signs point to using my talents, to put things in writing and to live life like there is no tomorrow. I need to show the strength that I have within and be the person that I am created to be.

I could be so much more than this.

The longing to express myself is very powerful. This dream gets diluted as the whispers of insecurity, doubt and fear inject their poison. Deep down, I know the potential is in me - the talent to write, to create. I just know it.

Hearing from others how much talent lies deep down inside makes me believe that the change is possible. That opening up to share the beauty of the words will not only help me discover the beauty within myself but in others. To invent other realms and see the possibilities of what this world may offer.

I'm gonna be so much more than this.

What’s the antidote? How can I dilute the poison instead of letting it suck the life out of my dreams? This is the answer. As I sit here and write, I know the answer is in the doing. In diving in and putting myself through the process. I am determined to just keep doing it.

Having confidence that this change will propel me into a life I had no idea was possible, makes me feel like I am opening myself to those around me. The feelings coursing through my skin... my veins... my nerves... my heart generates a feeling within me that makes me believe I am more alive than I have felt in ages. It keeps a smile on my face as everything within me feels like it is about to burst forth to share this true calling.

I wanna be so much more than this.

And with the doing, comes the letting go - the letting go of the words. Whether I’m sending the words out to readers, or simply covering journal pages, I’m admitting to myself how much I want to be doing just this. To be writing more and more.

The desire to do something bigger than what I ever thought possible catapults my dreams into taking the forefront of my brain, my imagination running wild with the success that will surround me.

With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no one cares.


The truth is, this isn’t about anyone but me. It’s not as  much about being read, or seen or accepted as it is about journeying through it. It’s about staring down a blank page until it holds little pieces of my soul.

There will be those that doubt and rain on my parade, but I will keep believing. I will keep trusting that this is what is meant to be in my life. The words that emerge from my mouth, my hands, my fingers hold my dreams and lifeblood. I am made for taking chances.

Good Goodbye, I'll be fine.






To read other birthday collaborations just head over to Hyacynth's Blog!!

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Maybe those were the days....


So....imagine this. Alarm sounds...and I roll over to check my iPhone (of course) to find I'd been tagged on Facebook...in a group of photos from high school.

I was stunned.
And {can I just say} it's more startling to be stunned first thing in the morning....you know, before coffee, in that hazy place between wanting to face the day and wanting to stay in bed!
But there they were. Photos of ME.
From my sophomore year - some time in the mid seventies.
Yes, I said mid seventies.




Now, you have to know one thing about me to fully appreciate this. I have a terrible memory. Especially where my childhood and adolescence are concerned. I think they call it blocking things out. Who knows. I've been 'analyzed' and ... lets just say, between me and my brother we could probably come up with about one calendar year's worth of memories between us.
So, when I say stunned, I mean it.
I look at these photos and cannot believe my eyes!
I don't remember laughter. Or hugs! Or throwing a friend a surprise party (that's me holding the cake in the first photo!) (at MY house!)


I don't remember hanging out on the school lawn, or having a friend who played guitar...

And....forgive me for this...I look at that young girl {me} and she takes my breath away! Why didn't I see her? Why didn't I know that I had beautiful hair and a great smile? Where in the world did I get the notion  idea belief that I was fat??!! It's all a bit overwhelming....cause the "me" that lives in my mind and the "me" that I see in these photos - well, they do NOT match! Not even a little bit!





As the day has worn on, my shock has turned into a huge {inside-my-heart} smile! And I am so grateful to the long lost high school friend who found these and posted them! And to the friends in the photos - for bringing me smiles, then and now. I think it might just be time to reconnect.



Just Write
Linking up HERE

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Summer Rain


"Like a welcome summer rain,
humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth,
the air and you."
Langston Hughes


On Saturday afternoon, the Marble sky let go of some much needed rain.


From my doorway I watched as the droplets decorated
the puddles with ever growing, ever changing Concentric Circles.


As the rain began to let up a bit, 
I grabbed my favorite piece of rain Gear 
{and my camera} 
and I headed outside.


All the leaves, as if Glazed
caught every ounce of light there was.


And,
as the sun shone through the rain, 
the Warped boughs, weighed down and soaking wet,
caught that light and caught my eyes.



Linking up with Tabitha for Sunday Citar
And with Ashley for Scavenger Hunt Sunday

Friday, June 22, 2012

Summer + Crafts = Happiness




Happiness is....watching kids and moms
scrapbook together! School's out! Cropping's in!



Linking up with Melissa and
sharing our summer happiness
six words at a time!


Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Wall {Bigger Picture Moment}





I want it to not matter.
I want so badly to not be affected by her, changed in any way.
I want the subtle insults and the painfully uncomfortable comments to roll right off my back.
I want to be better at this, at handling her.
Oh, I want it so badly.
*****
She arrives. Vodka and wine her trusty companions.
     stones laid
She corrects my adult child's grammar...almost before she's said hello.
     mortar added
She compliments things...ooohs and aahhhs over all that has changed since the last time she was here....
      more stones laid
....so, so, so very long ago.
      mortar
She asks my brother to move her chair, my son to fix her drink, my husband to pour her wine.
      stones
She asks everyone but me for help.
      mortar
"What can I do for you?" "Do you need help with the meal?" "What do you need from me?"
      stones
Me she offers to help.
Because roasting vegetables must be beyond me.
     mortar and stones and mortar and stones and mortar....

By the time we sit to eat, my wall is built.
My mom has, once again, come into my home and shut me down. Shut me up.
And, at this point in my life, I can't even blame her.
I've retreated into myself, speak only when spoken to and wait her out.
Eventually she will leave.

When I'm on the other side of my wall, watching the evening through the windows, sitting alone, on a well worn bench....I regress. Any signs of my 'enlightened self' vanish and the berating begins. Her shoulds have long ago been replaced by my own shoulds and I begin to give myself a long lecture on how and why I should be beyond all this.

And I get so mad at myself.

*****
Today, the word in my heart is "want" and not "should" and I've let myself off the hook. The wall is down already ~ it's only taken four days....not years, or months or even weeks. So, I smirk as I type, and fight to be grateful for the progress I've made. Progress that I've made because I can let it all out and have listening hearts and ears who will take me as I am....and love me. Even while I'm still lugging around some of those useless old stones.


Joining other bloggers to share 
the simple moments that help us 
see the Bigger Picture.
We're linking up at Alita's today.


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

My Two J's

6/17/12


I do love it when my brother comes to visit....
...all the way from Maui.
He's a friend, a confidant, a comforter and a sounding board.

He and my son have some things in common.
Soccer.
The number 13.
They actually share quite a few physical 
and character traits.

And whenever my brother comes around, 
my son gets called the wrong name for a while after he leaves.
I can't seem to help it!
Sorry, Jer!
{miss you already, John}




Black and White Wednesday

Monday, June 18, 2012

Skyline


Boston Skyline.
I really love this city!


and then, she {snapped}
linking up with

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day Scrapbook


"I'm gonna watch you shine,
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loved his children more than I love you."
Paul Simon

Mother Nature Meets Technology
While Grandpa really mowed the lawn, daddy played with you, showing you how to "help".

Standing Tall
You loved riding on daddy's shoulders! And telling me to stop taking your picture!

What's Wrong with this Picture?
Santa's plate was full of Doritos and not cookies!!
{Big sis was in on the secret and knew her"Santa" liked Doritos better than cookies}

Meet Me at the Corner...
...at the pub, for a beer. 

One Step at a Time...
...in life or down the aisle!

I went hunting through our scrapbooks to find these precious memories to share on Father's day.
Our kids have a great dad.
I love sharing this journey with him!


Linking up today with Tabitha for Sunday Sitar
And with Ashley for Scavenger Hunt Sunday

Friday, June 15, 2012

Fish for Dinner!



I had one very happy husband
at my house last Sunday night.

On the menu: Lemon Grilled Salmon

You see - he loves grilled fish....
Me? Not so much at all!

But, thanks to some inspiration from
a fellow blogger, I asked hubby
to grill salmon for dinner. Just 
like Jess showed us - with lots 
and lots and lots of LEMONS!

Hubby did not need to be
asked twice. He got right to
work, added some acorn squash to
the meal - and - oh, my....YUM!!!

So {I predict} there will be
more fish grilled here this summer....
because to my surprise - and his
delight - I really enjoyed every bite!




Linking up with Melissa
and sharing our Summer Happiness
six words at a time!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

In My Dreams {Bigger Picture Moment}


Before the coffee and the office and the errands, there was the awakening.
From a dream. From a nightmare?
It came early. Before the sun had fully lit the skies, I was troubled by the dream. My son had been hurt and had kept it from me. And the hiding of it was so odd, so off...so not him. As I asked him why? What had happened? He found my eyes and began to explain. As he spoke, his face changed and for just a split second I was looking at my brother. Then it was my son was in front of me once again. Before I woke up I saw my brother a few more times.
The awakening was unsettling.

After that there was coffee, and the office and the midday errands. All so mundane. So boring. But I had songs to carry me along....some instagramming to document the dullness....a note pad to scribble some words that would be written somewhere more permanent later...just a typical day. A day in which I fought for meaning. Struggled not to miss the beautiful and the Godly. As I walked through the light drizzle towards my car, the town green lured me in. So I slowed my steps and then stopped. Not to smell the roses...but to photograph them. And in those few minutes, the tension of the traffic, and the dullness of the routine fell away and I remembered to be awake.

Minutes later an email came to my inbox. A travel itinerary from my brother. He was making a last minute trip from Hawaii to Boston...to help see his son through a minor operation next week. When I called to let him know our door was open and his room was ready, I shared my dream. As we talked, we figured out that he had been online making his plane reservations around the same time his face had come into my dream.

Now - I'm not one to go searching for meaning in my dreams.
But if meaning finds me there, I'm not one to ignore it either.

Soft rain. Pretty petals. Faces I long to see.
I wonder ~ is it my job to find meaning, or simply to stay awake and aware as meaning finds me?




Simple BPM
Sharing the Simple Moments that
connect us to the Bigger Picture
at Sarah's Place today.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Blast From the Past



{They love their daddy}




Black and White Wednesday

The {good} Morning After


A night in the open air, and the slices from the baker's loaf have hardened. Dishes were rinsed last night before I climbed the stairs to bed, but didn't quite make it into the dishwasher. There had been a little wine, an 'everyone bring something' dinner, and hours of relaxed conversation with friends. As I sliced a new piece of bread and headed to the toaster, an easy smile floated from my heart, to my lips and all the way to my eyes. We've weathered years of friendship. Years of our children's friendships. And are alive to laugh about it - together! 

I stood at the sink, and played back my mental tape from our dinner. We'd done books, work, kid's romance/schooling/etc, hair cuts, current challenges and {yes} took a few steps down memory lane. 

And it was easy. 
And it was safe.

So when the birds started chirping this morning, I woke up with a light heart. The light heart that comes from time spent with girlfriends. Trusted, honest, funny, spiritual girlfriends. 

A cool breeze, gentle morning light, coffee, toast and a happy heart. I'm delighting in the moment.




Just Write
Joining Heather today for Just Write

Monday, June 11, 2012

All Smiles


My happy boy and his sweet, sweet girlfriend




and
 then, she {snapped}

Sunday, June 10, 2012

One of those perfectly beautiful days.....


"Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon....
the two most beautiful words in the English language."
Henry James


Simple Paper signs announced the town's
summer fun day around the pond.


Lots and lots of families joined in the fun!
When I first saw these pink clad fisher-women with their dad,
I thought, "Oh how cute. And they match their tackle box!"
Then I noticed the fishing pole was pink...
and I thought, "Now that's just Silly!"


The daddy geese are ever watchful and protective
in their Black and White splendor.


As for me...
here come the freckles!
I don't tan...I just get Spots.


These guys found a great way to Travel across the pond.

{and with the day's festivities, I noticed LOTS of ways to travel AROUND the pond!}



Joining Tabitha for Sunday Citar and
Linking up with Ashley for Scavenger Hunt Sunday

Friday, June 8, 2012

Happiness is.....


Today's happiness shared in six words:

de-luscious frozen yogurt for lunch. yum.

For the month of June 
we're sharing bits of Happiness on Fridays!
Link up HERE